I just realized that though I am recording most everything going on in our lives in a diary format, I stopped posting events at this site. Sorry! I started making notes elsewhere so that I wouldn't forget details, and then, instead, I simply forgot to post them.
I just finished reading a book authored by Ken Gire called Windows of the Soul, experiencing God in new ways. I originally thought that I would just read a section every week or so, but it totally captivated me. Every single chapter was another challenge to my faith -- in how I understood it, how I lived it, how I shared it. I would love to share verbatim with you some of the sections, but it is copyrighted and I am warned to not post any part without permission.
BUT, I will say that I read a chapter called Windows of Vocation while I was home alone for a period of time. And I spent a lot of time considering what he wrote and I jotted down my thoughts at the time:
Read another chapter in Ken Gire’s book called Windows of the Soul. This particular chapter was realizing God’s vocational choice for you, if that makes sense. That there are some things that make you so happy, glad, energized to be doing them that even though you spend hours at the “job,” you still have energy left over. The author was describing some things from his childhood that SHOULD have been signals to him. As he looks back, he sees these open windows that he hadn’t recognized at the time. It made me stop and think about things in my childhood that I vividly remember. Or those things that make me smile when I think about them. It always goes back to a book that I read called The Family That Nobody Wanted. I honestly don’t remember much about the book except that it impacted me deeply – a couple adopting children from all over the world. Whenever I ask anyone if they’ve ever read it, invariably I get no as the response. Well, after reading this chapter I decided to google the title. And, lo and behold! The book is back in print again!! I’ll have to buy it just to reread it and see what touched me so back then. Another favorite book was Cheaper by the Dozen, a story of a family with 10 children (making the family 12, or else 12 children…can’t remember exactly). But I loved the idea of having a large family. Turning 30 on my honeymoon didn’t give me a lot of time to make that happen, but starting with twin daughters sure gave it a jumpstart! And then two years later adding a son. And then…why I started listening to the voices around me I’ll never know. How are you ever going to afford to feed them, clothe them, educate them? I hadn’t asked myself those questions; just figured we’d do it somehow. But I couldn’t give a good answer. I thought I needed to be practical.
Now, nearly 23 years after the girls were born, I still wonder why I listened to the voices. I know that God is sovereign, and He could have provided more children if that was His plan.
Is He providing more? Adoption had entered our minds at one point. We even began the whole process of the home evaluation, etc. The thought was that we could provide a home for someone who really needed one. Eventually we just got busy with life and our three children and gave up the idea of adding to the family.
Now we’re in Ukraine. And just yesterday I saw precious Sergiy being transported from the orphanage to the hospital because he has strep throat. All bundled up, ready to meet the cold air head-on. Such a sweet face. And almost a smile when he saw us. This child doesn’t need a hospital – he needs a HOME! What do we do? The expense of adopting is overwhelming. Do we offer ourselves as foster parents in a foreign country…willing to parent those unadoptable children with AIDS? Do we try to create another setting -- an environment that is more homelike than the orphanage? How can we help these children? What can I do? Lord, speak to me!!! Where should I focus my energy?
Please pray for wisdom as we test the waters. Simply gathering information will take concentrated effort. Laws. Ever-changing laws. But if this is truly a project that God is in, He will see to it that we navigate these uncharted waters safely.
NOTE: By recommending this book as food for thought does NOT mean that I agree with everything that the author has written.